279. Missable Quest

When I was a child, instead of paying attention to anything that would’ve helped me later in my life, I day-dreamed. Or is it day-dreamt? If I had paid attention in class I’d know. Anyway, I’d imagine portals opening up and sending me out to a land in which I could be a lot of help somehow. I vastly overestimated what I could bring to the table as an asthmatic, introverted, anxious, near sighted dweeb. 

The thing is, none of those fantasies were about helping people around me under realistic situations. It was always the Japanese isekai trope, before I even knew such a trope existed. It was always either fake enemies or fake people in need. It was never Pedro, the soccer prodigy in the first row that needed my help. Or the bus lady. Just new people in new places. 

As an adult, it’s the people who throw themselves at others in need that capture my admiration. Nurses, doctors, social workers, non-profit workers. One of our nurse friends, Hayley, recently casually mentioned how she saved a patient’s life from choking. That’s the stuff right there.

My wife bolted out to the street once after a car accident happened outside of our home to help a victim. She doesn’t know CPR, she just knew that somebody needed help. She sat down next to the shocked victim until an ambulance came to help. My wife understood at that time that what this person needed was just someone at her side. In those minutes, my wife showed more heroism than I’ve showed in my entire life. I yearn to be more like her.

So why am I so attracted to playing heroes in my videogames? The wish fulfillment is strong with me. At this point in my life I don’t believe I’ll save anyone from anything, but I can still hope that my unique combination of skills and incompetences will one day find a helpful use.