Banal Hemorrhage

I love classic fairy tales. Even as a child, I wanted the straight up gore-filled authentic fairy tales. Children painfully murdered, stepmothers horribly abusing their new kids, incarceration, cannibals, give me that hardcore horror. It's easy to see how these tales might have taught kids not to jump into whatever the 1800's version of a van with tinted windows was. Even Rapunzel was all about human trafficking and follicular torture. The dude that tries to save her falls into a thorny bush and loses his eyes.  And of course, many of these tales introduced the biggest horror of them all: the happily ever after. Typically this occurs when people marry rich and move to a castle. As but a wee child, I felt like this was a terrible thing to push... that you'll only be happy when you marry. Why doesn't Snow White become a renowned novelist? Why can't Rapunzel be an interior decorator? Sleeping Beauty could be a marketing director for Ghostbed. All these ladies could be ...

You may hate this post, but it is entirely accurate and based on peer-reviewed data (drunken conversations with my friends). Individuality; what a slippery slope that is. Too little, and you are prone to manipulations and targeted ads.  Too much, and they may name a disease after you.  Symbols have been so interesting in the United States lately. The untrod snek used to mean a rebellious person in love with their inalienable rights, but now you see it next to pleas for abortion prohibitions. You may see a love sticker to Jesus, next to a beloved cartoon peeing on your feelings. Confederate flags in cars with license plates that didn't lose the Civil War.  However, in general, you can always tell the type of people behind the wheel with more accuracy than your typical Buzzfeed quiz. If you disagree, sound off in the comments!

I love media that takes a turn. In literature, garden path sentences take the reader on a journey and then whammo...  the last part of the sentence goes elsewhere through grammatical trickery. Examples of that: -The horse raced past the barn fell. -The old man the boat. -The florist sent the flowers was pleased. -The cotton clothing is made of grows in Mississippi. In cinema, I hate to say it, but one of the best examples is still The Sixth Sense. The way you understand the movie completely changes after the 'tweeest' . Everything you just saw for one hour and a half had to be reframed. Has anything since that movie really snuck up on you? In video games, Knight of the Old Republic really did a number on the player, as we found out (spoiler for a 20 year old game to follow) that the character we've been playing was the evil douche we've been chasing all along.  In real life, I guess we can say 2016 was a good example. Up to that point most people believed that the USA h...