180. Growth



One of the biggest issues that I brought into this marriage was a broken belief system. It went something like this: “She married me with all my flaws and issues, so therefore I am all good to go as long as death do us part.” I even made sure she knew exactly how flawed I was before getting married. She survived the gauntlet that I crafted for her, mostly me just being a little too much me. No one was as surprised as me that she went through with the wedding.

My wife adopts a growth mindset to marriage. She sees marriage as an opportunity to change and improve each other. And you know what? Like with everything, except in the pronunciation of “jewelry” and “realtor,” she is absolutely right. 

No other force in this planet has made me want to change as much as this pale yooper*. Back in Venezuela I was known to finish every argument with “I am what I am.” Long gone are those times.

Since being graced by her companionship, I’ve volunteered, learned to draw, exercised, reached out to people more, and I have undeniably become better at human-ing. And these things happen almost by osmosis, just by being around her. I still have lots to go, I haven’t adopted her eye for detail yet.

Times are tough all over, some days I’m barely pulling through. But I’m with my best friend. The moments of joy I have found in these times have been mostly because of my wife.  Joy is there when we travel, when we laugh together, and joy was there when we adopted our little dober-goblins. Joy is still around if we look for it. 

So join me in wishing a very Happy Birthday to the real, three-dimensional and complex creature that is  Roxanne! Her presence in my life is the single best part about it.

* a yooper is a species of humans grown in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My wife came in the rare vegetarian and liberal model, a testament of the wonderful family she comes from.


Extra panel: 



Past ideals were not 100% fleshed out.


   


 

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