Banal Hemorrhage

Perhaps this will surprise you, gentle readers, but the creator of this sophomoric webcomic is not particularly adept at domestic duties. It is with that in mind that I share with you my laundry process, so others may learn from it. It is not a practical method, but it does end up with clean laundry at the end. In the frames you can find Khaleesi, the brown, young cat. She is cute, dynamic, and the devil's armpit sometimes. She is the one that eats all my cables. I don't want to hear what you've tried... I tried vinegar water, lemon water and other internet-provided ideas. The only thing that works is reverting to an amish lifestyle with no cables. We are fine now, and getting good with the churning of the butter and stuff. The white haired cat is Eris, and she is wonderful, adorable and hairy AF. She definitely was abused as a child, because she is ambivalent about being petted. She likes it, but she hates it and moves away from you at the same time. Twinkle ...

Dear readers, my wife and I don't watch sports. We have similar political views. We even prefer the same Mystery Science Theater 3000 host. This is big. This is the biggest rift we've had in anything and I love it. My wife is not crazy, she is not maladjusted, she is not pro-incest. My dear readers, she is pro Cersei because she is pro woman. I know there are other women on this show, but my wife partly loves the idea of this powerful, rich woman being in power in this depressing world of Westeros at the end of this season. Here are her thoughts on the matter: So, why after 8 years, as everyone’s beloved show comes to a close, do I find myself feeling that an apt ending for GoT could be with Cersei remaining firmly seated upon the Iron Throne? For one thing, it would just be good, unexpected story telling. I can hear twitter crashing with the sheer outrage of it. She has been there (on the throne) an awfully long time now in the life of the series. She’s arise...

Sometimes the wife and I are so disconnected with the world of scheduled holidays that we forget some important things. Since we don't have kids, Spring Break means nothing to us. Since we don't believe in zombies with great abs, we don't celebrate Easter. However, we did celebrate, unknowingly, by eating a lot of sugar and overindulging as always. Perhaps I don't care about religion, but I do care about you all, so I hope you had a good Easter! Or if not your cup of tea, I hope you had a great anniversary of Apollo 16 landing on the moon! Or whatever floats your fancy on April 21st.

 A few years ago, I was in an improvement kick. I wanted to become a leader at work and be fit as a fiddle and aggressively meditate and all kinds of things. At one point I bit off more than I could chew and decided to slow down due to the anxiety it was generating. Improvement is great, but you have to make sure you are heading towards the things you want, not what society wants of you. Some of the things I was pursuing were not me. I find that what motivates me the most is looking into the rear-view mirror. It's not imagining a future that I don't know I will like. It's seeing how much you've changed in your journey. It's trends and bumps, not goal lines. The cool thing about this hobby is that I can see the absolute entirety of my progress. And I love all of my pieces (even if the world doesn't). For some reason I have no feelings of regret or shame when looking back; like some artists have expressed. I think these pieces are all an accurate representat...

Again, my two systems fighting against each other.  It is extremely fun to say yes to everything! And yet, it is the cause of many breakdowns and anxious moments in my life. Saying no is very powerful and it may be the most honest thing you can say sometimes. I've always respected people who know their limits and walk away from the cliff. My only advice is to listen to that voice that knows all the things you are working on. That voice is wise and can put things in perspective. I'm pretty sure in your deathbed you won't remember all the things you said yes to, but I'm sure you'll remember all the times you bit off more than you could chew!

This is a true story. Some events may have been exaggerated for comedic purposes (maybe). I have always loved Children's Museums. We had an incredible one in Caracas, Venezuela . We didn't deserve how awesome it was. The architecture , the artistic design, everything was above and beyond children's museums that existed and have existed since. I went there well into my teens and early twenties. The art director was Jorge Blanco , who made a popular comic strip at the time . He often broke the 4th "panel" and he influenced me a lot (even if it took 40 years to make it's way to my fingers). Those characters in the walls were burned into my memory. It is probably in incredible disrepair and I purposefully have not looked into it's current state. Like many things from my childhood it is probably better left in my hippocampus. It is with those memories that I asked Roxanne if we could stop by the Children's Museum in Chicago. It w...

In my lifetime I have been told that I look exactly like some people that I would consider to be not perfect replicas of me. Maybe I have a better self esteem than I project, but I feel like I don’t look like “ The Critic ”; as was earnestly expressed by a girl on a (first and only) date. Other twinsies I’ve been professed to have: Steven Wright Tony Hale Stephen Miller (Aaaaargh) Dr. Katz I don’t know. Maybe I’m vain, but I always pictured me as more of a Luke-Perry-with-a-really-bad-hair-day type. It’s funny how I have a pretty sturdy love and acceptance of my own physique, and yet my self esteem about other things (like being a functional adult in this crazy world) is pretty dismal.

As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, millennials get blamed for everything these days. Has it happened like this before? When we were young everyone blamed the older folks, but for some reason now everything is the younger folk’s fault. Personally I agree with the murder of many of these things. I’ve never understood the fascination with golf or college football. I don’t understand how they are still a thing, and a huge thing at that! Unless they change the rules to allow robots or mutants, I don’t see myself getting into them. Napkins are just useless in a world that contains paper towels. Debate me on this. I sincerely don’t understand why we must have both, so I’m OK with their demise. Diamonds are forever stupid. When did we decide that they were symbols of love and wealth? They have felt unnecessary and gaudy to me all my life. What an unnecessary reason to pillage the earth and the workers who unearth them. Chain restaurants and malls had their time in the sun....

#1 and #2 are based (loosely) on Kahneman's "Thinking, Fast and Slow". In it he describes (in a purely heuristic way) two ways our brains work. System 1 is fast, intuitive, and frequently wrong. System 2 is slower, more deliberate and logical. A good way to think about it is this: When you think of 2+2=4, you are using System 1. You already learned the concept and the operation to derive 2+2=4 years ago, by now it is automatic. When tasked with 56x33=X, you have to engage System 2. In my real job, I have to teach people how to use System 2, because System 1 is often wrong when making assumptions, summaries or reflections. However, in my personal life I fall to the siren song of System 1 constantly. I like to see, hear and feel things all the time, which makes it hard to concentrate or remember things. The homunculi in my head are taking their shapes! And yes, I am terrible at names and this at least makes me feel like I have an excuse. Chart by...

I don't know if you, dear readers, do this. I do, and it's a terrible habit. I do it with book series, movie shows and video games. I wonder if it is part of a bigger tendency, of people waiting until best possible moment that never arrives. How many bottles of perfectly aged wine remain unopened at the end of one's life? Some of my unfinished projects as of this writing: Red Dead Redemption 2 Mad Men Malazan Books Dragon Quest XI Firefly (I have one episode left, it hurts too much) Community It hurts even to write these. I will update this list if I get to them! My fatal disease of Scrotal Malware was chosen by our friend Hayley. Thanks for giving me an agonizing death! 

This one is about the bad decisions we make during conversations. I wish the paths were as clearly labelled, but honestly by now they should seem more obvious to me! The words “I’m Sorry” mean nothing without what comes next. Choose wisely! The more I draw homunculi in my head the more options I see for describing the flaws we all make in reasoning. This is a good avenue for me to join my Psychology background with my absent-minded moron background with my new faux-artistic background. These ideas have been germinating in me since the beggining. My 11th comic introduced little people in my head.  Dear reader, if you made it this far into the verbiage of this post please help me with this: What is a good name for a made up fatal disease that would afflict an older version of an absent-minded moron? It’s for my next comic. Let’s make it interactive.