32. Why we don't get invited to some parties

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92. Never Google Your Doppleganger

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In my lifetime I have been told that I look exactly like some people that I would consider to be not perfect replicas of me. Maybe I have a better self esteem than I project, but I feel like I don’t look like “ The Critic ”; as was earnestly expressed by a girl on a (first and only) date. Other twinsies I’ve been professed to have: Steven Wright Tony Hale Stephen Miller (Aaaaargh) Dr. Katz I don’t know. Maybe I’m vain, but I always pictured me as more of a Luke-Perry-with-a-really-bad-hair-day type. It’s funny how I have a pretty sturdy love and acceptance of my own physique, and yet my self esteem about other things (like being a functional adult in this crazy world) is pretty dismal.
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266. Collateral Splashing

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We recently installed a bidet in in our toilet. It was one of those external thingies you install between the toilet lid and the base. It was a fun project for us, we learned a lot about fighting in confined spaces.  It took me a few weeks before I could use it without giggling. This thing has no chill, you either preserve your butt integrity or you get blasted a couple of inches into undiscovered country. After a couple of weeks, though, it did become part of my routine. I soon noticed the collateral splash and I haven't stopped mentioning it, to my own (and only my own) amusement. This comic is an homage to Larry David’s humor and lasting appeal.  Like many of you, I’ve been on a Curb your Enthusiasm joyride lately. For some reason, I wasn’t interested in the show until recently, even though Larry David rants are extremely and historically resonant with me. I think my favorite part of the show is Cheryl’s disappointed/harried face and LD’s inability to detect it while riffing on
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274. Agrarian Contrarians

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The rural and urban divide has plagued humanity since before the actual great plague. Rural people did atrocities to foreigners, like blaming the Jews for the plague and murdering them. However, even in all their fears of others, they were always pro-monarchy. During the French Revolution, the feudal rural peasants wanted a revolution but also wanted to keep the monarchy. For some reason, being in the countryside has always rhymed with xenophobia and authoritarianist beliefs.  I know why urban voters are different, they're different because they live alongside minorities and immigrants and other people in a higher density. As I've said before, being around different cultures is a cure for hate.  What I don't understand is what makes rural folk the way they are. Why are they afraid of people they may never meet? Why do they want a strong daddy to tell them what to do? Most rural people I know pride themselves in their know-how and independence... why is that correlated with
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261. Growing Pains

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Listen, making fun of old people isn't right. I'm old people. The best-case scenario for each and every one of us is to become old people.  My comedic wrath is being brought upon the group of people born in the United States at around the same time who are currently old. The people that were Woodstock adjacent, yet aged to show the same prejudices and pearl-clutching that they endured as young people. They lived through Stonewall and are now going to school boards complaining that there's books telling kids that it's ok to be gay.  I will never understand how someone born in the 50s or 60s could be considered the reliable voting block for Donald Trump in the United States. Their parents fought or survived WWII, they witnessed civil rights history and yet here they are, stanning for proto-Hitler. As an immigrant, let me tell you, the fact that Trump is back on the airwaves hasn’t been fun. Direct assaults to the quality of my blood were not on my 2023 bingo card but her
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255. Urge to Purge

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My wife is a planner. She moves into the right lane as early as she can for a right turn, which could be 10 blocks or more away. She tests camping equipment weeks before camping. She has a paper planner... in the year of our lord 2023. She often checks menus before getting to the restaurant. She receives the first dose of the flu shot available in the United States every year. That's why I find these events hilarious. She knows she has a bladder and she knows that it needs to be emptied. And yet, in a few occurrences, she waits right to the seconds before a deadline to get it done. This happened last weekend as we were taking a train from Chicago to Kalamazoo and we were waiting for a whole hour before the estimated time in which we would be escorted single file into our train. Well she got the urge to purge seconds before we were escorted! And I, being the dependent (non-ticket having) husband, had to wait for her. The end result is never bad, but my anxiety gets a jolt. It's
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263. Scents and Sensibility

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So, I wrote and drew this one under the debilitating effects of sobriety. As we approach the end of our self-imposed experiment (dry January), a few of things are apparent. First, it was difficult. It being difficult was the point. I think it’s important to realize what has a hold of you and to what extent. I use alcohol for destressing and sometimes to enhance other things, like dining and gaming. Second, I can see why some people choose the chaste path of sobriety. In general, I found  myself to be more emotional and a bit down during this period. Before figuring out more about the effects of boozing , I think I need to understand more about the effects of sobriety. Why did I find myself so sensitive to despair and negativity this month?  I had to live with it for a whole month, without the seductive embrace of alcohol. What is affecting my mood so?  For all intents and purposes  I have a life that has exceeded my expectations. I get to travel and eat weird  things and play with uniq
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265. Puppet Show

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Let me begin this by saying that in the current contest, I will vote for Biden happily and heartily. I am a Biden apologist, I’ve liked him since the Obama years. His gaffes are the gaffes of a boomer who has seen the world evolve and is trying to stay with it and not against it.  That said, he’s old AF. Trump is old AF. This makes me out to be an ageist, I believe. In my defense, most of my friends will be octogenarians. Here’s the thing, I don’t think that these candidates are too old to do the job, I just think that the crown could have been ceded to a properly coached and introduced successor with enough time. They’ve both experienced their share of success, shouldn’t the goal be to show humility and sweep the floor in front of newer generations? I don’t know if it’s because of internal polling or because of ego that Biden is considered the best choice for the United States. Whatever intel they used may have been flawed. In my mind, I dreamt of a Biden introducing some of his favor
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