Banal Hemorrhage

I'm really tired of the debate, so I'll just poke fun at it. Everyone who knows me knows that I am biased against the careless and wild adoration and accumulation of guns. There's an emotional aspect to this, as I have been the victim of gun violence. In my case the only thing that would have helped is less guns, not more good guys with guns. The one thing that frustrates me is the reluctance to do anything. The arguments against universal background checks from the NRA are repetitious as ever . Their argument goes a little like this: "We shouldn't compel a universal background check for all sales of all weapons because it wouldn't stop all crime and people could still get guns from the black market". However, they tacitly acknowledge that it could have stopped some. Over 3 million denials since the Brady act in the nineties. Not all of them found their way to the black market. Lives have been saved, guaranteed. The link from the NRA also shows how weird t...

All manner of horrors follow me, frustrated at my inattention.

We all have a message to give. I just hope I don't end up going door to door for it.

Lucky to find a girl that is nauseated by prescribed, mass produced messages in home decor. They would be in our hellscape for sure!

Last week, I was talking about my hardships with cohabitation and the difficulty of creating the routines necessary for a succesful household. Two married men shared with me this theory they had at the beginning of their marriage. I realized that I had it too... the feeling that getting into a routine is a fastrack to death. There’s good news, though... they all shed that belief and were beaten to docility. So there’s hope for me.

What’s your high score? I got all of them. All of the awkwards.

I got out before the last stop, but I feel it's pretty accurate!

My job is famously bereft of constant recognition, feedback or immediate tangible outcomes. So it's nice really when we do find out we didn't really ruin people's life.

Still trips me up sometimes.

One of the most interesting anecdotal characteristics of the impostor phenomenon , is that it never seems to occur on those that would benefit the most from it: like autocrats and dictators. It is always adored and revered people like Neil Gaiman who mention their experiences with it. In that journal entry he writes a line that always resonated with me. “And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.”

Perhaps I am a daywalker, able to barely pass as a member of both cultures?

Besides my pale skin, there were quite a bit of elements that separated me from my fellow latinos. For one, I was the only one of my friends that craved Pop Tarts. Here are a few of those differences, but the list is longer. I am sure I am not the only one with ethnic identity gaps like this, it’s probably a very universal feeling to feel like one doesn’t belong! Template:

We come with our own record scratch

Who are shitposters? How did we create them? Do we deserve them? Will we ever stop crapposting or giving them attention?

30 comics in under one month. That was the goal I set for myself once I found a creative outlet to my thoughts. I end this run with a plug for mental health. I suffer from anxiety, depression and other issues off and on. It's just the way it is and I am happy with who I am. However, being happy with who you are doesn't need to lead to stagnation. Therapy and other solutions are there for you to explore avenues for change and well-being. In this past year I have learned a lot of things I don't want to pursue and a few things I want to pursue. Through therapy I was able to admit to myself what these things are. I will continue working on this blog, but not at the breakneck speed I have so far. It was a delightful obsession, but now it has to become a sustainable one.  Thanks to all who have been with me in these first 30!

This will hurt. It hurt me. When I came to the United States I was pretty libertarian. Success was everywhere for those who put on bootstraps, I thought. I was handed the white supremacist robe when I learned about redlining , job searches , criminal sentencing , health disparities , gun ownership disparities and black people's own perceptions of themselves . Denying that these things exist is not only false, but it creates stagnation. We have a lot of work to do, but it starts with realizing our part of the problem.

Why must we be so different? In what part of my life did I get rewarded for being a mansplaining problem solver and my wife got rewarded for being empathetic and caring?

Apparently, this is something the male of the species consistently does... asking about something before putting the effort to look for it even a smidgeon prior to that.The female of the species swallows it with pride, and shows the poor bastard the way.

Alexa, Roomba and Siri have heard me apologize. They have not acknowledged my apologies, which makes me feel a little bit weird about it.

Okay. Even if you are a centrist, as I aspire to be, you have to wonder. This bill passed in the Michigan house last night along party lines. It is a 2 pager with a massive legislative scope. It states, very succinctly:  "THE LEGISLATURE AND EACH HOUSE OF THE LEGISLATURE IS HEREBY AUTHORIZED AND EMPOWERED TO INTERVENE IN ANY ACTION COMMENCED IN ANY COURT OF THIS STATE WHENEVER THE LEGISLATURE OR A HOUSE OF THE LEGISLATURE DEEMS SUCH INTERVENTION NECESSARY IN ORDER TO PROTECT ANY RIGHT OR INTEREST OF THIS STATE, OR OF THAT BODY. " I'm not smart enough to prove without a shadow of a doubt that it is a bill to protect people's asses now that the three blue ladies are in. However this bill really muzzles the power of our Attorney General elect (Dana Nessel, pictured above), who had the right to intervene in these matters prior to this bill. It passed last night 58-50 in the house.  It feels like even if you assume the best intentions of the bill, which...

Every once in a while, my wife comes out with a random remark to strangers that takes everyone for surprise. I just adore her.

I am sure that the forced conventions of organizations can be awkward for all of us. I mean, we don’t do this at the bar. Like ask people to shout out their name, position and what kind of bodily fluid they would be. It only happens in our workplace, shielded by our uncomfortable clothes and the flawed notion that there’s a reason for every meeting that we have.

Language and racial terms vary across the globe, making a complex matter even more complex. I love it though, the world would be boring otherwise.

7/30/20 Update: This is my 21st comic ever! My style has changed so much since then! Welcome to my page!  Click here for the latest!  I have been drawing for over a year since this comic! Enjoy :) This comic is a callback to an earlier one. There really isn’t much up there.

But seriously, I'm really good at 1990's 2d fps maps so there's that.

Today we are car shopping. Me good asset to bring.

How did I survive so far, you ask? We may have to ask my smartphone, computers or therapists about that. Life with a rich inner monologue and imagination has been both a blessing and a curse, but it definitely led to a major breakthrough in my life: I am content with myself, by myself. So I am not afraid of loneliness as some might be.

We do get questions like this from time to time. It gets a little repetitive to say the same thing always so I thought we could spruce up things!

I’m a hypocrite for sure. I don’t know why I have never been invested in sports. My mom, dad some of my siblings really seem into it. I mean, there’s got to be something to them, so many people around the world embrace other people’s athleticism as if it was their own life goal! It’s one of those things I could never even fake.

I may have concentration problems. I am so glad I escaped the Ritalin wave, because how would my imagination cloud look like? Probably all sharp and edgy. Nothing wrong with psychotropics, it's just that uppers in my childhood is very likely not what I needed!

The principle of conservation is hard for 5 year olds! I feel like the person in this comic (I still can't use the word president) may have some developmental issues. Failures in Object Permanence: Just because he doesn't see the constitution doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  Failures in Conservation : The people crossing the border for asylum are of the same species as the ones he plays golf with. But with a much harder life. His thinking is extremely egocentric , which is still preoperational (<7 year olds).

For some of the younger folk, the yellow device was used to call people while you were anchored to a spot. It was used heavily up to about the year 2000. Before people start blaming this quirk on technology, I was always allergic to the phone. The amount of attention you must have to hold a phone communication successfully is about 10 seconds more than I have. Personally, text and social media have been my social savior. So I ain't hating. Yet.

Mom and I take a yearly trip to somewhere of her choosing. It started as a way to connect but it has been eroding into a hedonistic ritual of whatever the opposite of detox is.

Some of these memories are just waiting to be turned into nervous ticks.I feel like that shady guy still hasn't let go of some of my greatest hits. Like puking in a school play. Countless first dates. The time I thought I wanted to be a mouseketeer. 

Who would have thought my penchant for floor socks, chair clothes and overall chaos would have ever worked against me? It is the hardest hurdle yet and mostly because I suck. I wondered if I could duck under it, but I think I'm gonna need the big pole for this one.

I'm always surprised, enamored, and a little jealous at how deep, profound and complex Roxanne's mind is. Mine is 95% occupied with monitoring for "that's what she said" jokes. What makes us so different? 100% of the women (and 50% of the men)  I've met have had a deeper emotional well than I have. Perhaps in many  men, any behavior related to your emotions is extinguished early in life.

I still cringe when I remember this. I had to explain to the family that I am damaged goods. We didn't do this in my secular family. Did you have awkward moments like this?

Because all cats are manipulative fur-sacks. And I can see right through them. But damn it I love all of them.

Today, I am thankful for my wife. She lets me buy childish video game systems, at least I hope she does when she finds out. Also thankful she has either not noticed or has forgiven me for screwing up the dishwasher. Update: I received the PSVR... it is an incredible tool for immersion. Even Roxanne seemed to like it!

For some reason, I decided to introduce my mom to Parkour during our visit to Oklahoma City. It went as expected, as I have the gracefulness of a falling sack of bricks.

Why are we like this? I have such a good system for preparing for a trip, why can't I hold it past the first leg?

This happened. I don't know why but it needed to happen.

My first picture of Roxanne. I still can't believe we are still married.

This is it. The first comic in ProCreate, the tool I used from then on. In all it's glory. Look at the circle hands, the broken lines, the unnatural proportions. Gosh, I miss the beauty in absolute mediocrity.